How are you? I really miss you. Anyway, i hope you’re able to forget me soon as i know it scares the hell out of you. I know its scary falling in love again but im sure, you deserve the best out of the best.  Im just average. I hope you’re starting to forget my face soon as i really dont want to be hated at all. I know you hate my guts, my lies, my dishonest, my trust but im really hoping that would end soon as i dont wanna be hated at all. I hope you’re starting to forget my face very soon so you dont have to relive the bad memories anymore. Im trying very hard to make sure you dont get to see me or hear my voice at least im helping you move on quick. I might consider leaving so it’ll be easier for you. I’ve been eyeing for a space in fire fighting but hey, who knows. All that matters is that im helping you forget everything about me. Im trying very hard i promise. I’ll hide myself each and everyday each time you’re at work, i promise you this. You deserve the world babygirl 😊

You’re just waiting for me to fall even further in the pit of my mistakes. You took whats suppose to be mine forever. I’ll never forget.

The heart that was once open for me is now closed. I regret every single thing i’ve done to hurt you. So much it kills me. Now you’re off with someone else, and im here just stuck with regrets. I do not know how to live without you, i feel useless and im just like a fish gasping for air. Im now back to square one where i always will be, abandoned by my own mistakes. I dont know how it feels like anymore. You’re always who i always wanted. I just have to fuck things up didnt i? Now the opportunity for me to come back is really really slim. I dont know how to be away from you. I dont know how to live without you. I dont know how to do things without you. I dont know how to stay calm without you. Im just here. Floating with my own existence just being here. What the hell am i supposed to do? I am dying. May you find peace. Im just here. Craving for you. Craving for your soul. Craving for your heart to open up to me again. I dont know what to do now. I am so depressed. I am so stressed out. Im dying. Is living even a choice now?

Dear love of my life, how are you?
Dear love of my life, have you eaten?
Dear love of my life, did you slept well?
Dear love of my life, why did i hurt you?
Dear love of my life, why didnt i took great care of you?
Dear love of my life, why did i promise and never did what i promise you?
Dear love of my life, why didnt i saved you?
Dear love of my life, why didnt i took the opportunity to save us?
Dear love of my life, why was i such an ego?
Dear love of my life, why didnt i gave you more?
Dear love of my life, why did i fuck things up?
Dear love of my life, why did i lie?
Dear love of my life, why didnt i change?
Dear love of my life, why didnt i cherish you?
Dear love of my life, why didnt i try more?
Dear love of my life, why didnt i regret earlier?
Dear love of my life, why didnt i show remorse when i know i did?
Dear love of my life, why didnt i show my emotions when i know i love you?
Dear love of my life, can we try again for one last time?
Dear love of my life, can we be like how we always use to be? Happy and free?
Dear love of my life, can you open your heart again for me?
Dear love of my life, can you love me again?
Dear love of my life, can i still be your everything again?
Dear love of my life, is this how loneliness feel?
Dear love of my life, is this how the heart feels when it doesnt get what it wants?
Dear love of my life, is this how emotional pain feels like?
Dear love of my life, how are you?

I am a liar, a cheater, dishonest, childish, egoist, ignorant and arrogant. I was all that and im no more of that and of cause i dont want that anymore. I want to change. You make me want to change.

Suhaimi. 110193. Finally no more you.

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